Honestly, nothing creeps me out more than watch emerging sexuality in young adolescents. But hey, if you're working in a middle school, it's kind of something that you have to navigate. Kind of the way I had to handle catching a couple of kids in the stairwell last year with a young lady's hand down some boy's pants. Needless to say his smile quickly disappeared from his face when I stated yelling. Nasty.
But today, for reasons wholly unknown, my class of all boys transformed itself into some kind of homo-bunny-humping free for all.
When they came into homeroom, I was doing my best to ignore them while getting them to sit down at the same time. I was grading a spelling test, and with my eyes still on the quizzes, I began to implore them to zip it and sit down. You know, Snoopy teacher style. "Waaaa waaa, waaaaa, sit, waaaaa, waaaa, waaaaa."
Next thing I know, one of the boys is leaning over my desk begging me not to call his parents for calling the class paraprofessional a REALLY crude name. I was just about to start back with more Snoopy Teacher talk when I noticed that one of his classmates had grabbed him by the waist and had started to bunny hump him. My jaw dropped, and I looked over at the the para. She was looking right back at me with that "you handle it" look.
After a fair amount of yelling, I finally got Gangsta Thug Boy to release his "middle school Oz" victim. I thought "M.S. Oz" victim would flip, but instead he was laughing. Seems as though the boys have all selected a "bitch."
I'm still speechless. And sickened. When I dismissed the boys, I called their guidance counselor. Lucky woman wasn't there. So tomorrow, she'll be enjoying her morning coffee pondering why the hell my class is humping each other and what she's gonna do about it.
I could also use this as my most interesting writing prompt to date:
"Please respond to the following: Why do you think it is inappropriate to hump a classmate? Your response should be written in one well developed paragraph."