Lenny (English Language Learner Lenny) and I have hit a bump in the road. As in there isn't a lot of learning going on. There are a number of possible reasons for this, including:
1. I'm not qualified to teach a child diagnosed with a learning disability (in Spanish) in ESL.
2. The region has not sent a bilingual paraprofessional in almost a month.
3. Lenny is just too damn horny to learn a goddamn thing.
Right now, I'm betting that it's 25% reason #1 and 75% reason #3.
Lenny's emerging sexuality has been hard NOT to notice. He likes to get up in front of the class and do his little "in and out" pelvis thrust dance. He really likes to yell out, "Yo! No one wanna suck my dick? No one?" And, he really likes to hump my desk when my back is turned.
He humped it a lot today. Too many times for me to pretend that I didn't see it. Too many times for me not to address it. Too many times all around.
So as best I could, I sat Lenny down and told him that he would have to "cool it" with the "sexy stuff."
"Why no sexy stuff?"
"Well, it's not good. No, sex is good ... err... love is good, but not on my desk. You know?"
"Whatcha mean, mister?"
"No more hump-hump on the desk, okay?"
"And no more hootchy-cootchy dance, okay?"
"No, I do dance. I like."
"No. No dance. Not good. Girls don't like your dance. Not appropriate in the classroom. Okay?"
"No. I do dance. I like. You give me pen and I stop."
"Oh. Huh. Here you go, sport. It's all yours. I'll give you the pen, and you stop the hootchy-cootchy dance."
"And no more hump-hump on my desk. Okay?"
"Shit! Leggo the pen! I no hump. Okay?"
And with that, Lenny left my class, pen in hand.
As he was about to walk out the door, he stopped, made a couple of pelvic thrusts, laughed wildly, and disappeared.
Ack! There's something about adolescent sexuality that makes me so uneasy.